Around the Riverbend

My life is so crazy, I haven't been taking the time to blog.  Not that I was very good about it when I first started anyways, haha, but I've been wanting to write for awhile.  But it's been a month, where do I begin?  I can't give a blow-by-blow, but here's a few things I've been thinking about:

There is no way I'm going to continue in chemistry after I graduate.  I don't want to work in a lab, and I've lost all interest this year in pursuing it to any degree other than maybe as a random hobby.  So now that I'm conveniently figuring this out 3 semesters before I graduate, where am I going once all is said and done in my undergrad phase?  Where do I want to be?  Where does the Lord want me to be?  Where do I even begin?  Years of planning on graduate school or a chemistry job, and I find myself wanting.  I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Maybe just with General Conference on the mind, or my impending graduation, but I also have a sense of urgency around my thoughts.  I need to get on with whatever it is I should be doing.  I feel like I should be learning as much as I can about people, the gospel, what's happening in the world, history, languages, everything.  And it's a great feeling.  To feel like there is something more worth searching for.  I have a life to live, and I'm beginning a new phase.  There is more, and I need to find it.   How much can I learn, and how much can I stretch?  Which way should I go?  Which bend in the river is for me?  How long can I straddle the  fork in the road?  Can you straddle a fork in the road?  Who really knows?  If you do, please share.

Mostly, I love life.  I don't know why Heavenly Father thought it was a good idea to give me so many opportunities, such as a good education and defining moments, a great family and great friends, but He did. And how could I ever want to waste it? How can I not want to give it my all?

"I look once more, just around the riverbend. Beyond the shore, where the gulls fly free.  Don't know what for, what I dream the day might send just around the riverbend.  For me. Coming for me."