Decisions Determine Destiny

I wrote this a little while ago (I think at the beginning of July...), but I thought I wanted to add more to it, so I didn't post it then.  However, I don't remember what else it was I wanted to say, so here it is:

So it seems every six months, give or take, my life takes on a theme. I start to understand a doctrine of the gospel of Jesus Christ a little more, and it just seems to become manifest again and again, for months and months. And it's amazing how the Lord helps me understand line upon line as I go on through my life.

"Men are free....to choose" (2 Ne 2:27). This statement has had such an impact on my life recently.

For a lot of my life I thought that I had to do the right thing, I had to be nice to that person, and I had to keep my thoughts to myself so as not to offend. I have to go to church, I have to read my scriptures, and I have to pray. I had no choice because I had to be perfect. Of course, none of these are bad things for me to be doing, but thinking this way I missed an important fact: no one chooses what path I take, but me. My Heavenly Father cannot make me get up for church, He cannot make me pray to Him, He cannot make me serve another, nor can He make me love. I spent a long time of my life believing that I had no say in the matter. I had a path marked out for me, and I was always scared of making a mistake. What if I screwed up so bad that I couldn't get back on again? What if I had a mission I needed to do for my Father, but I messed it up? How could I ever be sure?

But at some point, I realized a few things I'd like to share.

One, I don't have to do what's right. I don't have to be nice. I don't have to go to church, say my prayers or love others. The choice is completely mine. This realization, when I think of its power, it humbles me. If I mess my life up, there isn't anyone to blame. Not my parents, not my neighbor, no one, but me.

Two, though I don't have to live a certain way, I actually do want to do what's right. I want to be a loving person who prays and who exercises her faith. I want to live in such a way that I can be an instrument in His hands.

Three, the Lord qualifies those He calls. I am a human being, and we human beings have a tendency to make stupid mistakes. But the Atonement of our Savior isn't just for sin. It's for our weaknesses, it's for where we lack and it's for when we make poor choices. The Lord would never let someone else's salvation rest solely in my hands. And He can fix whatever I did to myself if I sincerely want to repent.

And once I started to understand these things, it became apparent that I had to make some decisions in my life. I had to choose my priorities, what I was going to do with my time, and who I was going to spend it with. I had to form opinions on what I wanted in my life and what I didn't. My decisions were/are determining my destiny.